


I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost (Unless It's In The Barn)

by sunspot (unavoidedcrisis)



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, Halloween, Trick or Treat: Treat, Urban Legends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27385756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unavoidedcrisis/pseuds/sunspot
Summary: The barn is haunted. Probably.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15
Collections: Trick or Treat Exchange 2020





	I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost (Unless It's In The Barn)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elegantstupidity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elegantstupidity/gifts).



The barn is haunted. About that, there is almost no argument. The arguments tend to only begin when someone mentions it. 

"You know what I saw last night?" Katy asks.

"Coyotes fuckin' in the yard again?"

"Wayne sleepwalking in only his gross longjohns again?"

"Coyotes fuckins' in Wayne's longjohns agains?"

"No, I saw --"

"My longjohns aren't gross, Darry, they're well-loved?"

"And them coyotes were well-loved too."

"Can you all please focus? I saw a ghost?"

"No you didn't," Wayne, naturally, is the lone holdout on the 'barn is haunted.'

"She's terrifying," Daryl says with a shudder.

Katy rolls her eyes. "The ghost is an old man, the farm who died in the barn. A horse kicked his head in. Everyone knows this, Darry."

"No, it's definitely a woman. Her lover used to be a farm hand, and when he cheated on her, she hung herself from the hayloft."

"There's no ghost," Wayne cuts in.

They ignore him.

Squirrelly Dan looks at them like they're from another planet. "Katy. Darry. It's a childs, it is. The creepiest, hauntiest, ghostiest childs. With fangs and a tails."

"Ghost fangs? Listen to yourself," Wayne scoffs.

"Yeah, listen to yourself."

"Listen to yourself, wouldja?"

But Dan would not listen to himself. "Some says it's the sons of the Devil himselfs."

They go round and round, like they always do, but they ultimately come to an agreement: spending Hallowe'en night in the barn to determine who was right who was wrong, and who was absolutely wrong, Squirrelly Dan.

Once all the little goblins, witches, firefighters, and Paw Patrols are done trick-or-treating, the remaining candy is piled in a sack. That, along with some sleeping bags, a few cases of beer, two large pepperoni pizzas, and a single light, one of those flashlights that turns into a lantern, and they're ready for a good old fashioned barn ghost stakeout.

Katy wants to prove her brother wrong, Daryl just wants the experience of seeing a ghost, and Squirrelly Dan wants to see the look on everyone's face when they see the ghost's evil, little fangs.

Wayne just follows the beer.

It's drafty and cold, bitingly cold, for October. Fat flakes of snow start to drift down, with the odd one sliding in under the doors once Daryl closes them up. They pile the sleeping bags up together, resigning themselves to sharing space more than they had anticipated, but not particularly bothered by it.

Daryl starts in on the telling of the urban legends and ghost stories right away, but he forgets the scariest parts or leaves out the twists that make them worth telling in the first place.

Wayne's double fisting beers and Tootsie Pops, mixing flavours in a way that's practically blasphemous. "No such thing as ghosts," he says for the thirtieth time. Katy shushes him.

"Is this the one with the hook on the door handle? You told us this one already, Darry."

"Did I? No I didn't."

"Did," Wayne confirmed.

"Shit. Well, what about the one where it's not the dog licking her hand?"

" _Ew_ ," Katy says feelingly. "Yes."

"Well shit." Daryl falls quiet. He cracks open another beer.

Squirrelly Dan's the first to sleep, flat on his back with his head pillowed on Darryl's lap, snoring like he's sawing logs for the lumberjack games that used to come to Letterkenny in the 90s.

Around two a.m., the ghostliest hour there is, Katy convinces Daryl and Wayne to come up to hayloft with her. "It's where I saw him," she says.

"Her," says Daryl.

"No such thing," Wayne says.

They bring the light, leaving Dan to snore away in the dark. Nothing short of a bomb going off or someone offering tequila shots would wake him.

It's quiet up there, all noise dampened by the piled hay and the distance from Dan's snoring. They crowd together, Katy and Daryl not willing to leave the circle of light the lantern is giving off, and Wayne, being the tallest, is the one holding it.

"Over here," Katy says, tugging them one way. They poke through the hay, but there's nothing, no spots colder or warmer, no ectoplasm burbling up between the boards. It takes a full ten minutes to convince them there's nothing up in the loft. They start back towards the ladder, a bit disappointed, a bit relieved.

A blood-curdling scream echoes off the barn rafters and rattles the walls. Daryl and Katy grab at each other, leaving Wayne to fend for himself. Down below, Dan wakes with a grunt.

"I thought --" Wayne says, breaking off.

"Wait, was that… you?" Katy slaps him across the arm. "You scared the shit out of us."

"Thought you saw what?" Daryl is more interested in what Wayne didn't say.

"What's going on up theres? Does it have fangs? I told you!"

"Dial it back, Squirrelly Dan!"

"Thought you saw what though, Wayne? A ghost, Wayne? Did you see a ghost, buddy? Was it a ghost that scared you? A ghost, maybe?"

"Now _you_ dial it back, Darry," Wayne warns.

Daryl does not dial it back; he doesn't know how.

Back on the ground floor in the emotionally fortifying arms of beer and a pound of M&Ms, Wayne tells them what he saw.

"A horse, big brother? You think the ghost is a horse?"

"What kinds of unfinished businesses woulds a horse-ghost even have?"

"Must eat graaaains?"

"That'd be a zombie horse, Daryl."

"Oh sorry, uh… I don't know then."

"I saw what I saw," Wayne says, sounding defensive. He cracks open another beer, setting his empty bottle aside. Katy opens her own, then Daryl, and the fight begins in earnest. Dan goes back to sleep.

Ultimately, no one's awake past four a.m., no one (except Wayne, maybe) sees a ghost, and in the morning they're already in the barn so Wayne insists they get a jump on chorin'.

"Colder than a ghost-horse's teat," Daryl complains, shivering through his coveralls.

Wayne lobs a snowball at him. "Hallowe'en's over, Darry, get with the program."

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Trick or Treat!!


End file.
